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Author: Rusty

Stress: A means of propulsion in life

The key to dealing with stress is in your perspective. If you have a strong foundational perspective of yourself—of where you’re going and what yo…
Rusty December 15, 2010
0 Comments

Lock-In: Why so many fail to progress in life

A common decision-making error called "lock-in", which plagues so many people and prevents them from changing paths or moving forward in their lives.
Rusty December 14, 2010
0 Comments

Inputs: The real key to changing your life

For our change initiatives to be successful, we have to get down the the core, what really drives change, this is what really matters.
Rusty December 14, 2010
0 Comments

Guiding Principles: a moral compass makes life easier

Misery in life is the result of living without direction. For a life of happiness, fulfillment, purpose, and meaning, you need a strong moral compass.
Rusty September 24, 2010
0 Comments

Today’s message from my son: You are very special

Alex sings "I am very special", melts my heart, and inspires me to write "so are you".
Rusty September 22, 2010
2 Comments

Failure and critics – ignore them both

When you have a vision—when you really believe you can make a difference, do something great, or create something meaningful—you’ve got to learn…
Rusty September 21, 2010
0 Comments

Waiting for Superman premieres this week

Our schools are the incubators of the future, and right now they’re scarcely lukewarm. Our nation's education ratings are among the lowest of all de…
Rusty September 20, 2010
0 Comments

Finding Fulfillment: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

The key to living a life of fulfillment and happiness is ensuring that these ascending needs are met.
Rusty September 2, 2010
0 Comments

Personal Disaster: An opportunity to change

Change becomes biologically easier when facing personal disaster. Here's how you can take advantage of it.
Rusty August 31, 2010
0 Comments

When you’re amazing

Amazing things happen when you become extremely good at something.
Rusty August 31, 2010
0 Comments

10 steps to make change easier

Change is difficult, but by understanding the biology behind it, we uncover 10 powerful steps that can increase our chance of success, and even make i…
Rusty August 27, 2010
0 Comments
man thinking

Moments of quiet reflection

For us to find fulfillment and peace in life, it's critical that we regularly find time do this one simple thing. Stop.
Rusty August 26, 2010
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If you’ve never been homeless, read this

Driving awareness and empathy to the issue of homelessness in America. Be aware, and help by sharing.
Rusty August 23, 2010
0 Comments

How great leaders inspire action – the golden circle

Simon Sinek describes how it is that great leaders inspire action—why some people are able to achieve things when others are not. He explains a new …
Rusty August 16, 2010
0 Comments

Ken Robinson: The importance of creativity

Ken Robinson gives a TED talk on "Do Public Schools Kill Creativity", and then makes a poignant argument about the failure of public schools.
Rusty August 10, 2010
0 Comments

Who I am makes a difference

The inspiring story of how a young man was saved by a simple expression of how important he was, in this touching story of “Who I Am Makes a Differe…
Rusty August 9, 2010
2 Comments

Mastery and personal progress: the secret to fulfillment

Finding fulfillment, purpose, and direction in life isn't hard, once you realize these four fundamental truths about the pursuit of mastery and person…
Rusty August 3, 2010
0 Comments

What you need to know to find meaning in life and work

It amazes me how many people I talk to, even those well into advanced, seemingly rewarding careers, are actually not happy. Is this you? Have you foun…
Rusty August 2, 2010
1 Comment

4 keys to boosting creativity

Creativity is an attribute that plays a substantial role in our ability to differentiate ourselves. In whatever you do, there’s a need to be creativ…
Rusty August 1, 2010
0 Comments

Fault Tolerance – managing shame and self-forgiveness

Even a small degree of fault tolerance in one’s perspective can be enough to lead to a catalytic moment. Often, it involves discovering the light wi…
Rusty July 27, 2010
0 Comments
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Forum Description

FAULT TOLERANCE – MANAGING SHAME AND SELF-FORGIVENESS

articles

Background I’m a member of several psychology, neurology, and cognitive/behavioral groups on LinkedIn, where I’m able to participate in a lot of great discussions. Today, I came across a study being conducted by Deryck Thake, a student researcher from the University of Leicester School of Psychology. Deryck is studying the nature of shame and self-forgiveness and their relationship with health and personality. This is such an important topic and one that I’ve recently been exploring in my book, so I thought I’d talk a little about it here (a small sneak-preview). Two great obstacles As a software engineer, I’m constantly focused on constraints. Hardware constraints, resource constraints, budget constraints, market constraints, technology constraints, bandwidth constraints, and more. There are always things that stand in the way of your objective. In life, it’s no different. Two of the largest obstacles people often face as they endeavor to change are those of shame and self-forgiveness. Plagued with the memories of past mistakes, people become:
  1. riddled with self-doubt.
  2. mired in shame and discouragement.
  3. preoccupied with the past.
  4. fixated on their faults.
  5. plagued with depression.
It’s extremely difficult, if not impossible, to labor under these kinds of constraints and make any meaningful progress in life. Moving on I like the metaphor of a rocket ship held on the ground by the gravitational pull of the earth. That rocket ship has to reach escape velocity, the speed at which it has the required momentum, to escape gravity. Like that rocket ship, we’re held captive by the gravitational pull of our past, of our present, of the way others see us and the way we see ourselves. But like that rocket, there are things we can do to reach our own sort of escape velocity. What’s our first problem? Perspective. Step 1: The catalytic moment Having become so riveted on the negative, we frequently fail to see the positive. We fail to look forward; it’s like trying to drive ahead while staring in your rear-view mirror (see this post). It just doesn’t work. Those stuck in this stage are in need of what I call a catalytic moment—that blessed moment of clarity when you’re lifted above your circumstance to gain perspective. That perspective lets you envision a better destination, and that destination gives you the desire to change. Sometimes this catalytic moment can seem elusive. But often it can be encouraged by a few core realizations, the first of which is an old engineering principle called “fault tolerance.” Fault tolerance is where you design a system such that it is capable of tolerating fault without shutting down. Life can be the same. Faults, errors, mistakes, and failures are all part of life. They’re part of learning; they’re part of growing. They provide the opposition necessary for growth and development (see this post). We can even train our selves through failure conditioning (this post), so when we fail, we do so on our terms. We can acclimate ourselves to faults and failures so that our response when they come is always positive. Often even a small degree of fault tolerance in one’s perspective can be enough to lead to a catalytic moment. Sometimes it must be augmented with a moment where we see something better and yearn for it. Often it involves discovering the light within, a realization of our own human potential (each of which are discussed in greater detail in the book). Those people who suffer from shame can be helped to realize that having done bad things does not make you a bad person. That perspective transitions shame to guilt (the more positive manifestation of the two), which can help fuel the next stage. What’s our biggest problem now? Inertia. Step 2: Phase 1 Propulsion Escape velocity - generating the momentum to escape our past and change our future This is where the big boosters are used. This phase is all about emotion. At this point we’re in the heat of the moment (the catalytic moment, which has infused us with the desire to change). But this initial propulsion of emotion is often short-lived. How often have you known someone (or even yourself) who has been convinced they were going to change, with total conviction, seemingly endless motivation, but then fail to do so? That’s because these phase 1 rockets, this emotional motivation, soon gives way to the still-unyielding pull of gravity. Unfortunately, it hasn’t taken us far enough away (nowhere near escape velocity) to reduce gravity’s effects even slightly. What it has given us is positive momentum. It’s gotten us off the ground, and that’s substantial. What’s our biggest problem now? Sustained momentum and an accurate trajectory. Step 3 and beyond The next steps toward reaching escape velocity will be discussed in more detail in the book, but include principles like:
  • Controlled Failure
  • Making the most of microcosms
  • Change blindness and the “all of a sudden” syndrome
  • We are the product of our thoughts
  • Finding your own personal sweet spot
  • Self-imposed limitations
  • Cycle time
  • Overcoming entropy
  • Straining toward achievement
  • It’s all about attitude
  • Hope
  • Measurement
-Rusty Note:  Thank you for being here. Remember, you matter and you can make a difference. Please share this post with someone else and come back for more.

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